When amputation doesn’t work.

The journey a family takes when their pet is diagnosed with osteosarcoma is a rare beast. After a month of unclear diagnosis, testing, front leg amputation, and newfound hope…we received news that Scarlett will only live 2-8 months.

When Scarlett first returned home from her surgery I wanted to document the entire recovery. Not just for myself and family, but for other tripawd family’s not knowing what to expect. The first week provided tons of blogging material. As Scarlett continued to recovery and gain mobility, it seemed odd post “Scarlett is doing awesome”, “Scarlett is still doing awesome”, etc. The recent sad news left me reflecting on the entire journey, and I made a few observations.

When your canine conrad first shows signs of distress, cancer is likely the last explanation crossing your mind. Be it a means of protection our our feelings or not, we often attribute the signs to many other possible ailments. Getting the diagnosis is almost impossible to soak in. One moment they are playing, barking, running and the next they are taken over by exhaustion and the darkness resurges in their eyes. Sincerely though, making the cognitive connection was and remains a challenge. You see a happy dog on the outside but cannot comprehend the sickness on the inside.

During Scarlett’s post-op appointment, during which the vet tech goes over the surgery and vet’s notes, I continue to dwell on one very hopeful quote. The vets notes read “Scarlett surgery went very well. We hope this will help the pain and let Scarlett live a long, happy life.” I didn’t read too much into this until the vet tech chimed in with “That’s really good. They don’t like giving false hope. So that’s good”…  The constant flip flop of positive and negative news has let me frustrated and untrusting. We are give hope only to be followed by exponentially worse disappointments.

All in all, I cannot conceive a house without Scarlett in 2-8 months. I am sad that her life will be cut so short. Knowing she will be gone before her second birthday puts a knot in my throat that feels impossible to swallow. But worse that this, I am concerned that her last few months will be consumed with an indescribable pain that her humans cannot see.  I hope that we can fight through the hopelessness and make Scarlett feel happy to still be here. So…when the surgery doesn’t work…it sucks. But we would never understand the true value of love without loss.

 

10 thoughts on “When amputation doesn’t work.”

  1. I understand your sadness, but don’t let it consume you. Enjoy each and every moment with Scarlett, because she doesn’t know she has cancer, and more importantly she doesn’t have a date stamped on her butt. Chili Dawg only lived 3.5 months post amputation, but he enjoyed every single day. When his cancer came back, we didn’t see the same pain in his eyes as we did the first time. The day he crossed the rainbow bridge, he thumped his tail on the floor and gave us sloppy kisses- I think he did this so we would know he would be alright.

    Cancer sucks, it really does, but don’t let it take away the moments you get to enjoy with Scarlett while she is here. There are dogs who live longer than what the vets predict. Look at Queen Nova, over 3 years and counting! Your sadness can wait. Live in the moment, take LOTS of pictures. Come here and vent in the forums- we are here for you- to boost you up and encourage you.

    Hang in there!

    Jenna & Spirit Chili Dawg

  2. I was pretty much going to write exactly what Jenna did: Scarlett is still with you right now, and all she knows is that she loves her family very much. You will have time to grieve when she’s gone. Please don’t let the cancer take away her time with you now. And I agree with Jenna: the dr’s time estimate is just that, an estimate.
    Has the cancer progressed to somewhere else in her body? I apologize for asking if you’ve already covered this is another post, but I don’t remember reading it anywhere. It’s so hard, but stay strong and positive for your girl. And come to the forums when you have questions; we’ve all been through this, and sometimes it helps to talk to others who are going through the same thing. Be strong!

  3. Thanks for sharing this! Just try to remember that vets usually provide the worst case scenario when it comes to prognosis. They gave Jerry four months and he loved life on three legs for two years!

    The surgery DID work. It put an end to the tumor pain which would have only gotten worse. Make the most of the time you have together by following Scarlett’s lead and focusing on the now.

  4. I will second what everyone else has already said.

    Rio’s doctors gave her 2 weeks to “a couple of months, if you’re lucky” when her mets were found in August. Here she is, 5 months later, still fighting. Yeah, it hasn’t been an easy journey, and we’ve had several meltdowns along the way, but today is great because my girl is still with me… Tomorrow may suck, but today is great! And that, simply put, is what gives me the courage to face this beast. Well, that, and all my Tripawd friends who prop me up when I get discouraged….

    Hang in there…. Scarlett will show you what courage truly means. Let her show you how to get the most out of every moment that you have with her…

    Micki and Rio

  5. I guess like Admin eluded to, my first reaction is wondering how you’re defining the word “work.” If Scarlett isn’t in pain, if she has good mobility and is wagging and asking for cookies and doing all the things she did last year, then amputation worked!

    I wish the doctors would just refuse to guess because so much is tied to that “prognosis.” In the human world, I experienced this first-hand and was really flabbergasted at the crappy way the “prognosis” worked out with my grandmother (“Of course she will be here for that appointment in two months” but she lasted two weeks.)

    Scarlett did not schedule her demise, so don’t you do it to her. She needs you to be 100% with her in the here and now. And you need her, too. Now–go play!

    Shari

  6. I know how you feel – Abby was only 15 months old when she was diagnosed/had her amp. She did not see her 3rd birthday. But she lived LARGE for another 15 months with her cancer, even over a year with lung mets.

    She did NOT have “indescribable” pain for the last few months. Not even for the last few days. Scarlett won’t either. You have taken away the pain by taking away the leg. Abby did great right up until the last few days. This is the good thing about OSA (and also kinda the bad thing….), but the downhill slide at the end comes very quickly. So, Abby loved life right up until the end. She was wagging her tail and eating treats to the very end.

    Try to not be afraid of what’s coming. You could be lucky and get years and years. Even if you don’t, you will have amazing times ahead with Scarlett. She will have a fun life. She will know she’s loved. She doesn’t know she’s sick. She doesn’t know she’s getting the fuzzy side of the lollipop. She’s just happy – like Abby was – because she is loved.

    Hang in there.
    Jackie, Angel Abby’s mom

  7. ditto, ditto, ditto. you can’t know the future, just keep enjoying the now. we were given only a 60% chance of making it a year, and made it almost 22 months, losing our battle to a second, different cancer. grab the most from every moment, and know that scarlett is a brave tripawd warrior princess. she is loving each day, now without that painful leg. don’t wait precious time being angry or being afraid…you will have time later to run the gamut of emotions. we are all here for you, we’ve all been where you are. now, go give that girl a hug from the east tennessee folks!!

    charon & spirit gayle

  8. Scarlett…I am holding you close in my heart and wishing you the bestest and most awesome life!!

    PS> I understand thru the grapevine that IN and OUT burgers are a good thing to ask for!

    Love,
    Pegz

  9. After Maggie’s amputation for mast cell cancer she was given 6 to 9 months with chemo treatments. I initially made the mistake of believing them. When we got to 6 months I was waiting for her to disappear in a cloud of smoke. She lived 3 years and 9 months after her amp, and didn’t die from the mast cell cancer. Not everyone is so lucky- but it does happen. Lots of examples in the forums of pups who were given only months, but made many months or even years. But even if your journey is short, like with our second cancer, there is still every day together to celebrate.
    Karen and the pugapalooza

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